Homelanddrifter.com, through its sources in various government agencies, has been able to secure prototype copies of public warnings that will be issued shortly by the newly created Department of Homeland Security. You will be seeing these warnings on public transportation, at pay phones, in your workplace, and in your home.
(This warning will alert users of public pay phones, libraries, and persons gathered in groups of two or more on public streets that their consitutional rights to free speech have been radically curtailed by new security regulations).
(This warning will be placed on sensitive security locations, and removing the sticker will be considered an act of terror, and thus grounds for federal felony charges and trial by secret military tribunal).
(This warning will be placed on sensitive security locations, as well, such as your workplace and inside your home, to monitor these areas in more detail. This will help the Department of Homeland Security accumulate and synchronize database information pertaining to suspicious homelanders and foreigners, through the "Total Information Awareness" program).
(The newest terror threat level warning has recently been categorized by Tom Ridge, the Director of Homeland Security, as "hot pink." This terror alert designation has not yet been made public to the rank and file homelander).
(This warning will give women ideas on how to combat violence visited upon them by male homelanders and terrorists).
[All of the above imminent warnings were leaked by our sources, who, for the protection of their jobs in the federal government, will only be referred to here as Dr. Maelstrom, Mikita Global Services, and Floss Global Services].
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Disclaimer: This site is a participant in the Homeland Security Advisory System. By entering this site, you hereby agree to submit to homeland security surveillance and to various other limitations on your freedom and civil liberties. Removing this disclaimer is an act of terror, pursuant to federal anti-terrorism statutes and regulations. 24 C.F.R. Sec. 234.03, et seq. (For more information on civil liberties, go back and click on "pay attention homelander.")